Narcissists
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Relationships Between Narcissists and Empaths can be said to have many Stages in and endless cycle takes away the life there of.[1]
Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.
The narcissist begins with:
1. Love Bombing[2]
2. Trust and Dependency[3]
3. Criticism[4]
4. Gaslighting[5]
5. Resigning to Control[6]
6. Loss of Self[7]
7. Addiction[8]
----
To break the bonds:
No Secret Self Blame[9]
Know thy self[10]
Know the enemy [11]
Know the power [12]
Know your patterns, old and new[13]
Know the now[14]
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Narcissistic personality disorder
- “Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist’s need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.”—Donald W. Black
Narcissistic State
Download Recording #1 Narcissistic State
Download Recording #2 Narcissistic State
Parliamentary problems
- Intellectual Dark Web and the blind leading the blind.
- Godly constitutions and faulty models and the big picture.
- The electoral college and the Mysteries of the Universe.
- Jordan Peterson, I act as if God is the existing one.
- "I AM[15] THAT I AM"[16] None is good.[17]
- Michael Malice and the theory of government form is not the soul of society.
- Narcissistic Spirit
- ) Lack of Empathy
- ) Little evidence of Remorse
- ) No compromise, expecting privilege and entitlement.
- ) Deceptive yet justified with an attitude of supremacy.
- ) Feign compassion but will rage with angry demands.
- ) Emotionally Dependent expecting support and admiration.
- ) Uses verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, legal or physical abuse to batter for Control.
Narcissists are often unaware of what they are doing.
They do have evidence of empathetic feelings.
While they are manipulative it is largely subconsciously manifested and unquestioned by them.
While a Sociopath is generally conscious and are in need of being in control of their reality, and of others who are part of their constructed reality.
There may not be much difference at times and we should not limit Narcissism to the extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Narcissism involves arrogant, manipulative, selfish, power motives, and vanity.
A narcissist can appear to change their identity because they have no fixed identity of their own.
The Narcissist like sociopaths may be the result of unresolved trauma or a life growing up with other people who project their personality into the tender emerging individual.
How do you know a narcissist is an emotional vampire?
- Their love of mirrors. Narcissists are often characterized as egotistical and self-centered. But are they manipulative?
Are they are evil or merely victims of other Narcissists? Their behavior can be harmful but it may be rooted in deep-seated insecurities they never desired and laced with internal guilt. If they refuse to see their part in this original trauma they may feel an addiction for emotional or validation.
Narcissists are willing to exploit for the validation like an addict who needs a fix. They use people and will sacrifice or discard them like trash. They lack guilt and feel no real care and will despise those that expose them.
Narc bait
People who are extremely caring and empathetic by habit will often draw to themself the narcissist personality.
They are attracted to these caring individuals because they there need to serve others may create a vulnerability. The narcissist can sense they can take advantage of their vulnerability and is drawn to the individual who may desire to exploit their weakness like an alcoholic desires another drink.
You must know your self if you desire a relationship with others and never change who you are for other people’s acceptance, attention, or emotional support.
Make sure that what you are doing for others are actually good acts strengthening others. Your natural desire to give, share, and serve must always be tempered by practical wisdom. Without a proper measure of "tough love" mixed into your charity claim of good intentions may not truly be kindness.
If you find it difficult to say know and often support the sloth and avarice of others you mat have a selfish addiction to sacrificing yourself to others. Your giving may be a form of self sacrifice like the cutter who damages themselves for some form of emotional high.
If you have a history of being taken advantage of by others and seem more confused by their abuse than you are willing to see your own part in the process, you may be "Narc bait".
The temptation presented by those seemingly weak and compliant souls is as much a part of the narcissist relationship cycle. The helpless female, the damsel in distress, or playing the "dumb blond" are often ploys that are used to trap a man but often backfire and attract a narcissist.
We should be true to ourselves which is why both men and women need to be honest in their quest for those essential truths about ourselves, others and the world we live in.
It isn’t worth it to loose yourself trying to protect yourself from the narcissist if you will not first love yourself, serve something higher than yourself and those you think you are serving. You must set proper boundaries in your acts of kindness to really be kind to people. Do not be a people pleaser. Be willing to loose those who say you are their friend or that say they love you.
Do not be afraid to be put down or rejected by by those who should love you. If you do kind things so that people will love you or hesitate holding people accountable for fear of their rejection you will draw the narcissist to you.
The best defense from the control of a narcissist is to be willing to see the truth, first, about yourself, the world and then that which created it.
The blind narcissist
- “Though they are quick to put others down, unhealthy narcissists view themselves in absolutely positive terms.” Daniel Goleman
What does a narcissist feel when they make a mistake?
- Nothing.
“There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one.” —Jeffrey Kluger
Narcissists never claim responsibility for what they have done wrong.
The Narcissist can feel their life is wasted and may desire subconsciously to create their-self over in someone else.
They may have betrayed and abandoned all those they claimed they have ever loved only to desire to leave the spirit they have secretly served their whole life in another person. They will show no remorse in changing but by the abuse of another child their faith in that spirit of pride they may be found believing that their "redemption" will be through another.
The evil has possessed the choices of the narcissist for so long that it will desire to pass its spiritual pattern on to someone else.
Or take revenge through a devilish redemption of false love.
- “He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.”—Benjamin Franklin
Machiavellianism
Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism. Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem.
“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” —Sam Vaknin
Machiavellianism is "the employment of cunning and duplicity in statecraft or in general conduct".
The word comes from the Italian Renaissance diplomat and writer Niccolò Machiavelli Wrote The Prince.
In modern psychology, Machiavellianism is one of the dark triad personalities, characterized by a duplicitous interpersonal style, a cynical disregard for morality and a focus on self-interest and personal gain.
Machiavellianism is also a term that some social and personality psychologists use to describe a person's tendency to be unemotional, and therefore able to detach him or herself from conventional morality and hence to deceive and manipulate others.
In the 1960s, Richard Christie and Florence L. Geis developed a test for measuring a person's level of Machiavellianism (sometimes referred to as the Machiavelli test).[18]
Psychopathy
Psychopathy, also known as—though sometimes differentiated from—sociopathy. is traditionally defined as a personality disorder with symptoms such as antisocial behavior, diminished empathy and remorse, and disinhibited or bold behavior.
Psychopathy Socially, it expresses extensive callous and manipulative self-serving behaviors with no regard for others, and often is associated with repeated delinquency, crime and violence, but may also present itself in other, maybe even successful social settings. Mentally, impairments in processes related to affect (emotion) and cognition, particularly socially related mental processes,
- “A sociopath is one who sees others as impersonal objects to be manipulated to fulfill their own narcissistic needs without any regard for the hurtful consequences of their selfish actions.”—R. Alan Woods
Countering Narcissism
Social welfare through the governments that exercise authority is the Narcissists playground. An appetite for benefits of such benefactors and a delight in the dainties of rulers leads the participants into darkness where their eyes are dimmed. They will degenerate where there is no light in society. The nature of the narcissist and there self martyred victims will progress as they are devoured one of another.[19]
The spirit of Cain, Nimrod, Pharaoh, Caesar, and Herod manifested the blindness of the narcissist as they enticed there citizenry with “bread and circuses”. In the social toxicity of such systems relationship are poisoned and narcissism thrives.
Fervent charity is the antidote to legal charity.
This is true on a national and individual basis. Children with loving a father are significantly more likely to do well in school, have self-esteem, empathy, and social behavior. They also avoid high-risk reckless behaviors like drug use.
To avoid serious Narcissistic personality disorder as an adult:
- ) Encourage and teach empathy with right reason
- ) Hold characteristics like honesty and kindness as valuable traits
- ) No entitlements, chores, earning what you get
- ) discourage greed and encourage practice, and reward caring for others
- ) Assist other people especially the elderly or infirm first routinely, actions speak louder than words
- ) build self-esteem because you did what was right without reward.
- ) attend to justice first, no false blame on others,
- ) Show mercy and compassion
Seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness is a process that requires perseverance but employs al the tactics of Christ to overcome the destructive nature of the narcissistic state.
- ) A national network of fervent charity promotes and teaches empathy according to the word of God
- ) A daily ministration requires character traits like honesty and kindness with wisdom
- ) No entitlements, Having to ask to receive promotes humility
- ) Regular and religious sacrifice in order to qualify promotes charity over greed.
- ) Assisting the elderly and infirm who are unlikely to return the favor.
- ) Sacrifice with only the hope of return ennobles society.
- ) Attend to weightier matters offers protection of society
- ) The daily practice of forgiveness and compassion will promote mercy for all of society.
The draw of the Narcissist
Why are some people drawn to and draw narcissist?
Is there something missing in a narcissist that you have and he or she can get or desires?
- Nice people draw the narcissist like a moth to a flame.
People who do not like to criticize anyone and generally promote the positive characteristics of others are particularly attractive.
Considerate people who are quick to help or serve others are seen as particularly useful. If they have become insecure enough to have fear of being disliked the narcissist is drawn to them like flies to sugar.
“Out of all the addictions in the world, attention is slowly but surely becoming one of the most dangerous.”—Saahil Prem
Self-reliant people who hate to inconvenience others or be a burden. The narcissist may be dependent upon this self-reliance because they are just the opposite. A narcissist may seldom feel that they are in control even though they are often control freaks. They fear that they are losing control even when they are not. This may make them very possessive, manifesting stalker tendencies.
- “I think a lot of self-importance is a product of fear. And fear, living in sort of an un-self-examined fear-based life, tends to lead to narcissism and self-importance.”—Moby
Someone who appears to be in control will draw the narcissists like the wolf to Little Red Ridinghood.
This is also attractive because someone in control will make few demands on the narcissists. How many men or women seem to shoulder any of your problems only to be abused by their spouse.
Anything that impresses the narcissist or they admire they want and want control of it. They may become totally dependent upon their victim with loving appreciation that consumes.
Your willingness to serve them and their needs make you a revolving satellite in their personal solar system.
- “Narcissistic people are always struggling with the fact that the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around them.”
People who are empathetic and can feel what others are feeling are the envy of narcissists but in a love-hate sort of way. Narcissists want to think or at least want others to think that they are empathetic.
Narcissists have few boundaries in the sense that everyone is a revolving part of their personal universe. They do not actually feel your pain but they imagine that they do.
- “It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.”—Voltaire
Their state of mind may be planted when they are very young and because of trauma they are never able to overcome the need to complete the next stage after the original symbiotic relationship [ the relationship between an infant and its mother or father in which the infant is dependent on the parent both physically and emotionally.] with parents and the world around them.
Empaths are often considerate to the point of self-sacrifice which feeds the god or goddess complex of the narcissist.
The only thing the narcissist share is their pain and dark emotions of anger and hate because the part of them that could feel these things are buried away in their own denial.
Tactics of a Malignant Narcissist
Malignant narcissists and psychopaths will ultimately demean, exploit, and hurt anyone who comes into a relationship with them.
They have a variety of tactics that they may employ to control others while they seek to escape accountability for their actions. Almost everyone can be infected with to some degree with a narcissist spirit from time to time. If you see yourself manifesting these tactics or they are used on you that can be a good thing because you see it. Malignant narcissists will not see it until they deal with the root cause which is unforgiveness and lack of repentance. Also, forgiveness and repentance are the best tactics against a Malignant narcissist.
Projection is a defense mechanism used by the narcissist to displace responsibility of their position or actions by attributing them to others and avoid personal accountability.
The narcissist projects their abuse in others rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects in a way that is painful and excessively cruel. Instead of admitting that they are needy, dependent and dishonest they will accuse others of those faults.
They will be guilty of what they try to make others feel guilty and ashamed. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another. Blame or similar faults others are always held up rather than personal objectivity of themselves. They are always deflecting and blame-shifting.
Don't be a party to this process but do not challenge their delusion without being willing to suffer their attack. If you can see without judgment that the narcissist is trapped in their own ego your none reaction and loving observation may shed enough light that they be willing to see the truth. Do not be sucked into empathetic support or you find yourself less attractive as a person and the subject of their attacks.
Irrational positions and conversation, circular logic, word babble that seem to produce nothing but confusion are common with both sociopaths and malignant narcissists. Because of their personal delusion they may have trouble staying on topic and commonly change the subject rather than follow the facts or deal with the real issue. The narcissist may prefer to attack any opposition or opposing opinion, whether real or imagined, with discrediting ad hominems or fictional accusations. This may lead to frustration and even the ill effects of genuine guilt on their part. Do not succumb or sucked into their drama, forgive their abuse.
Malignant narcissists try to appear as intellectual geniuses but make leaps of logic and swamps of assumptions rather than detailed reasoning. They see the projected picture of their truth disregarding differing perspective, dismissing inconvenient facts and anyone who presents those facts or elements.
Unsupported assumptions are emphasized as validating any perspective or point that vaguely supports their perspective. Because there are liars in the world any testimony that contradicts their position is labeled false.
With cruel claims that their partner never listen, they are never satisfied. They may deliberately accuse you of ideas and opinions or feelings that are not yours. This is often a part of a plan to “gaslight” you,[20] drawing you into a defensive position, or drawing you into an unwinnable argument.
They want to create doubt in others.
Keeping you doubting and off guard by acts of kindness and caring and then shifting the mood through a variety of ways can hold out hope only to dash it to pieces. They will sabotage good times or feelings or even the memory of them and then make it your fault.
While a willingness to forgive abuse and the realization that the abuser is trapped in the trauma of their malignancy may make these condition more bearable unless the narcissist is willing to see some of these traits distancing yourself may be the only solution.
Remember you may have been drawn to this relationship, not by love, but by compulsion. You may have been manipulated by false charm, gifts, and gratuities until you were seduced and courted, only to be betrayed and captured in an abusive relationship of control and possession. There may be no reason to remain a hostage if the narcissist can see no reason to see, seek help and change. If they think it is everyone else's problem there will be no real change.
There is a difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Are they really desiring to help or just put you down? They are constantly raising the standards which you may never be able to meet even if you do. They will sour every success stealing or dampening your thunder.
Malignant narcissists can do more than call you names, degrade and belittle you. Besides making your life miserable they can be dangerous to your life itself. If their control is beginning to slip away as you began to heal your part of the relationship their abuse may become physical. This threat can escalate rapidly and take many forms of envy, jealousy, possessiveness, and stalking.
You may need support from others who understand or you may need to distance yourself. And you may need to document your observations independently and with the witness of others.
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- ↑ Taketh away life
- Proverbs 15:27 "He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live."
- Proverbs 1:19 "So [are] the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; [which] taketh away the life of the owners thereof."
- Micah 2:1 "Woe to them that devise iniquity, and work evil upon their beds! when the morning is light, they practise it, because it is in the power of their hand. 2 And they covet fields, and take [them] by violence; and houses, and take [them] away: so they oppress a man and his house, even a man and his heritage.3 Therefore thus saith the LORD; Behold, against this family do I devise an evil, from which ye shall not remove your necks; neither shall ye go haughtily: for this time [is] evil."
- Luke 12:23 The life is more than meat, and the body [is more] than raiment.
- John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.
- John 10:17 Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again.
- John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
- 1 John 3:16 Hereby perceive we the love [of God], because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down [our] lives for the brethren.
- ↑ At the start of the relationship, they shower you with excess love, appreciation and gifts? While they make you think you are the center but in fact they are the center because they are insecure and merely compensating.
- ↑ Start doing anything and everything to get your trust but are untrustworthy. They make you depend on them heavily for love and validation but in truth their need for validation is dependent upon control.
- ↑ Gradually, the criticism starts with small things about how you dressing or act or your friends, subtly blaming you for bigger things. They isolate you and demand more of you for themselves while lacking empathy. They are feeding you with negative thoughts about yourself or your life.
- ↑ They find fault and make you doubt your own perception sucking you into their world with more isolation of friends and family. They abuse or hurt you while accusing you of doing the same.
- ↑ You take a backseat in your own mind and life giving in and doing things their way to find peace yourself. They have taken control and are in the driver’s seat making the decisions without you.
- ↑ There seems no way to fight back so you settle for anything to have some peace and avoid fights. You constantly apologize out of fear of upsetting them. Your confidence broken and you have difficulty when you wonder how "it went all went wrong."
- ↑ You become addicted to the highs and lows as your body is on a constant stress high and craves dopamine. This creates a cycle of dependency that feels a lot like a substance addiction. You are trapped in an emotional cycle and separation or divorce without resolution will bring you back to the addiction. Remember the narcissist is also addicted because of their own trauma.
- ↑ Their abuse is not your fault but you must forgive them so that you can see why you were vulnerable to begin with.
- ↑ You have needed something from your partner you needed to have already. We all desire to be loved but we need to love ourselves and others first. We must come to relationship as a whole person with our own values with only the "hope" of love returned. You must also forgive your vulnerability. This is easier if you realize they are also trapped and that some forms of the elements of narcissism in you own thinking.
- ↑ The enemy is not the narcissist but your vulnerability to their games and malicious trickery. Forgive them in you own heart so you can fucus on establishing you values, and you morals and morale, you own self esteem independent of their opinion. Do not confront or try to defeat them but find yourself. The narcissist may double down when they begin to lose control. A moral injury can occur in response to acting or witnessing behaviors that go against an individual's values and moral beliefs.
- ↑ Their power came from you need for their attention which they turned into an addiction. As you learn to let go of that need and find purpose and meaning, an independent fulfillment and moral integrity, you are impowered.
- ↑ Small changes in old patterns or behavior. Small private goals in your routines, your finances or fasting from anger or fear, arguing or apologizing for what they would have you think is wrong. You may not control everything and do not try to control them but you can remain in control of your heart and soul. Remember they are also trapped but for know you need to squeeze you own identity away from their trauma. You cannot help them without first finding your own identity independent of their opinion and control.
- ↑ Your goal is not to be happy or even in control. Your goal is to be yourself in the moment, to live life according to your moral values observing the good, bad and the ugly, come rain or shine. First, you must live in the moment in little ways without being carried away or crushed by things out side of your control.
- ↑ Reference I am
- Exodus 3:14 "And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you. ";
- John 8:24 “I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.” (present tense)
- John 8:28 “Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things.” (future tense)
- John 8:58 “Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.” (past tense)
- John 8:54 "Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God:"
- John 8:55 Yet ye have not known him; but I know him: and if I should say, I know him not, I shall be a liar like unto you: but I know him, and keep his saying.
- John 9:9;“Some said, This is he: others said, He is like him: but he said, I am he.”
- John 10:9 “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.”
- John 13:19 “Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am he.”
- John 14 “3 ... where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. 5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way? 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way(Egō eimi hē hodos), the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me(emou)... 9 ... Shew us the Father? 10 Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? ... but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: ... 21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”
- John 15:1,5;
- John 18: 5, 6, 8;
- Isaiah_35:8-9;
- Matthew 11:27; Acts 4:12; Romans 5:2; Ephesians 2:18; Hebrews 7:25; Hebrews 9:8, Hebrews 10:19-22; 1 Peter 1:21
- ↑ Exodus 3:14 And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.
- ↑ Luke 18:19
- And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none [is] good, save one, [that is], God.
- ↑ Their Mach - IV test, a twenty-statement personality survey, became the standard self-assessment tool of Machiavellianism.
- ↑ Bite not
- Ecclesiastes 4:5 "The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh."
- Proverbs 6:10 "[Yet] a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: 11 So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man."
- Proverbs 20:4 "The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; [therefore] shall he beg in harvest, and [have] nothing."
- Proverbs 24:33 "[Yet] a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: 34 So shall thy poverty come [as] one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man."
- Proverbs 11:17 "The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but [he that is] cruel troubleth his own flesh."
- Isaiah 9:20 "And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm:"
- Isaiah 9:20 "And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm:"
- Ezekiel 11:3 "Which say, [It is] not near; let us build houses: this [city is] the caldron, and we [be] the flesh... 11 This [city] shall not be your caldron, neither shall ye be the flesh in the midst thereof; [but] I will judge you in the border of Israel:"
- Micah 3:3 "Who also eat the flesh of my people, and flay their skin from off them; and they break their bones, and chop them in pieces, as for the pot, and as flesh within the caldron."
- Galatians 5:14 "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, [even] in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another."
- 2 Corinthians 11:20 "For ye suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour [you], if a man take [of you], if a man exalt himself, if a man smite you on the face."
- The ultimate bondage is to hate your neighbor through the error of Balaam because we fail to forgive which is the consuming fire of Exodus 33 and the Raca of Matthew 5 that brings the judgement and wrath of God.
- ↑ “Gaslighting” is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: “That didn’t happen,” “You imagined it,” and “Are you crazy?” Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment. This creates doubt.