Stages of Grief
We may commonly be told that there are 5 stages of grief:
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance are often the products o failing to deal with events in the moment which magnify reactions into compound levels of trauma.
Are these stages inevitable and natural or are they the result of a mental or spiritual even social policy that is flawed.
1. Denial and Isolation
When we believe something is taken from us, the first reaction is to rationalize or deny the idea,or refuse to even look at the information presented in what ever form it comes in to avoid the overwhelming emotions that may began to flood into our minds. We may block out the words, condemn the source or hide from the facts or even the possibility of their truth.
This is merely a blocking action and does not alter the truth where ever it lies.
2. Anger
A turtle can only withdraw for a period of time. Denial and isolation never address the reality. The fear of intense and painful reality in the form of emotion and physical trauma is deflected from our vulnerable nature and redirected into what we often imagine is a stronger shield which is anger. The anger may cause pain of its own and compel a need more emotional release. This may be directed toward inanimate objects, institutions, strangers, friends or family. Anger may even be directed at that which you have lost.
Why anger? Anger and fear are correlative. The more you fear the more anger will become a factor. The antithesis of anger and fear is forgiveness and faith which is probity requiring an element of giving.
3. Bargaining
Anger and fear are simply dealing with the symptoms and not the problem and eventually feelings of helplessness and vulnerability leak into our consciousness from our hidden unconsciousness. Anger and fear lead to the blame game which prolongs the ultimately required loving acceptance. Bargaining is just another form of stalling in which you solicit numerous strategy laying blame, accusations and will fluctuate backe to denial and anger in a cycle that prolongs resolution
4. Depression
Depression is the result of refusal to accept things in the moment, choosing anger and fear rather than forgiveness and faith. The choice we make is the result of what we had already been in a habit of following before this particular trauma. So if you are following these stages it would be good if you realized in the core of your being that you have been a victim going down the wrong path from the beginning.
Denying the truth should not be a part of your nature from the beginning. The use of anger to offset fear has never been a solution but the anger makes us aware o our personal lack of faith already existent in our life.
Be of good cheer!
The present events and path of your grief is allowing you to become aware of this inner problem in relationship to others and the world.
The pain which comes from these stages of grief may be eased by reassurance from others but that too does not deal with the real source of the trauma. We may need assistance and comfort from others but if we do not deal with our inclination for denial, fear and anger we will not grow or be strengthened.
5. Acceptance
Reaching a beneficial state of acceptance will be determined by the path you have followed in dealing with your belief in the loss as a trauma.
Real acceptance is what you should have done in the first moment but failing to do so is the result of many conditions. If we follow the five stages of grief without addressing why we are trapped in that cycle of response we may seem to accept but what we are really doing is resignation.
- Mankind should so love the truth that he can accept it at any time.
- Mankind should be full of forgiveness and faith that fear and anger are never required to deal with that truth or what comes posing as truth.
- Mankind should have no need to bargain if he has accepted the truth without delay so he can devote his energy in providing or the truth.
- Mankind should be at peace with the truth which allows him to manifest patience and what appears as perseverance which can bring pacification to pandemonium and blessings to where trauma prevailed.
- Mankind should be able to function in a positive way from the first moment having never denied that which he always seeks, the truth.