Talk:Groomed
"The rules are simple: they lie to us, we know they're lying, they know we know they're lying, but they keep lying to us, and we keep pretending to believe them." Elena Gorokhova, A Mountain
“The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie." "One word of truth outweighs the world.” Alexadr Solzhentsyn http://preparingyou.com/wiki/Groomed
Grooming is commonly associated with predators who groom young children to engage in heterosexual or homosexual behavior. Grooming is the predatory act of maneuvering an individual or group into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, wit unwarranted trust, and more vulnerable to abusive practices and accepting behaviour that may be self destructive by their nature.
Of course, adults or even whole nations may be groomed to produce a desired way of thinking and behavior that alters their societal culture, political policies, and historical fate.
There are at least six steps or signs commonly associated with grooming.
1. Finding a victim. Someone vulnerable to suggestion, insecure. 2. Gain trust. Offer since of security and or justification. 3. Grant a benefit. Relieve any emotional or physical pain by bolstering pride. 4. Isolate the victim. Inserting identity blocking alternative viewpoints with fear, anger, and guilt. 5. Consumating the relationship. Get the victim to act and behave in a way contrary to their natural conscience. 6. Maintain the relationship and power. Return to the process renewing the trauma with justification fear and pride.
Narcissists personality may generate or elicit complex and even contradictory emotions. The narcissist use a variety of emotions to keep the victim in a state of fear using extreme acts shock, awe, and guilt and then relieve that trauma with extreme acts of kindness and placation to maintain control.
What makes a people vulnerable to suggestion, and insecure.
The fear and shame-based relationships draw people with similar attract trauma together. This leads to forming emotional alliances with others and make enemies of those who are not so inclined.
Estrogen enhances fear while testosterone dulls it influence. Testosterone also increases competitiveness and an obversion to failure seeing fea-avoidance as a weakness. Their desire for confidance may produce a more shame-avoidant behavior in the testosterone dominant.
It is common that vulnerability opposites may attract, personal satisfaction derived from the strengths of others may create depends. If that depends is abused for selfish reasons a destructive relationship may be generated. Mutual empathy comes from mutual resspect of both partners and their roll in the bigger picture.
Our generational perspective within history and alarger society can facilitate our transcending of the limits of our own experience of vulnerability and the opposite vulnerabilities in others.
To see the vulnerability of others we must simultaneously see our own. Humility is the skill that gives us an ability to see that which by nature we wish to hide or keep covered.
core vulnerability is the emotional state that is most dreadful to you, in reaction to which you’ve developed the strongest defenses. Other states of vulnerability are more tolerable if they avoid stimulating your core vulnerability and less bearable when they don't. For most people, either fear (of harm, isolation, deprivation) or shame (of failure) constitutes their core vulnerability.